A gUiDe To tExTiNg: advice from an 18 year old boy

I've mentioned my little brother's writing talents in a previous post. He's a senior in high school and plans to major in Journalism at Auburn. He writes for his high school newspaper. His articles always make me laugh. His witty spin on current events and happenings never cease to amuse me. This one especially made me laugh. We made him read it aloud to us at the dinner table when I was home this past weekend. We were practically crying from laughing so hard. If only I had a recording of him reading it...but a copy of the article will have to suffice. Enjoy!

Oh and I made sure to get his permission to share his work...his response? (via text message, ironic?)

"As long as you give credit where credit is due, I have no problem with you sharing it." 

So here's your recognition Dave. Your blogspot debut.

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The Rules of Texting
By: David McKinney

Let’s be honest,  texting is a big part of a normal teenager's life these days. Whether you're texting your family, friends, or even a significant other; texting is, in a way, an opportunity to say whatever you want without seeing that horrid look on the receiver's face if they decide what you said was creepy or weird. Now I know that I am not the biggest expert, and my opinion may not mean much to you at all. But I have compiled a list of texting guidelines that may be beneficial for you to follow. Take this advice...or don’t, but here’s the list:

1.    Don’t ever send a double text. Take a hint, clearly, the person isn’t that interested.

2.     NEVER SEND A TRIPLE. If you send a double, and still don’t get a response, then send a third text, you are simply out of line

3.     If you receive a text that only reads “K” you should stop texting that person. Because they really just said “I don’t want to talk you”

4.     If you receive three or more texts in a row that only contain one word, you should stop responding. Because, again, they don’t want to talk to you.

5.     If you try to initiate a conversation, and the person doesn’t respond, don’t text them again for at least another 24 hours.

6.     When it comes to smiley faces, use them in moderation. Overuse of a smiley face, and you’re headed straight to the creepy zone.

7.     LOL is not cool anymore. It’s not. At all.

8.     Conversation murderers: 'K'. LOL. Hahah. J. Any of these received without any further wording, is code for “I have lost interest”

9.     Excessive lettering is aaaaaaannnnnnnnooooooyyyyyyyiiiiiiiinnnnggggg. See?

10  Texting is not an intervention. Serious conversations are done in person.

11  One conversation a day is enough. If you end a conversation at 6, there really isn’t any reason to try and pick up the pieces at 11.

12  Text things you wouldn’t say in person, because even if the person who receives it starts to think your creepy, you wont see their face. And you can feel free to think they thought you were really cool when you said “I just wanna see you tonight, babe ;)”

13  Us3 c00rEcT gRR@mM@r, because that just looks stupid.

14  U RnT KeWl If u TXT lyke dis

15  Make sure to proof read. Autocorrect can take you from funny nice guy, to weird creepy guy in a span of five seconds.

16  Keep your phone to yourself, your friends aren’t nice.

17  You can always cover/lie for yourself. For instance; you text someone, “Hey QT whatya up to tonight?” Response: “What the heck...?” Your response “Sorry, that was my super immature cousin Kevin.” Now, you may be thinking to yourself, “Wait, I don’t have a cousin named Kevin”  Exactly.

18  Lie, and lie a lot. Example “Hey, what are you up to?” Now, you're probably sitting on your couch eating chips, but according to your text you “Just got done with a lift and jog session”

19 Response times must maintain homeostasis. If you send a text, and get a response an hour later, you wait an hour to send another one. If you respond in 10 seconds, you look desperate.

20  Thank you texts-yes, apology texts-no

21  This the final rule, and perhaps the most important...

 Take it easy on emotional nonsense, take it real easy. Texting is no place for sappy love poems, and absolutely no place to drop the “L” bomb.

So there they are. The rules of texting. Follow them or don’t, its your creepy reputation on the line. 

Anthro Wedding Line? Don't mind if 'I DO!'

If I had to make a list of my all time favorite things, weddings would be close to the top of the list. Hands down, no questions asked, without a shadow of a doubt, my favorite movie is Father of the Bride. (I guess you could say the Father of the Bride movies, because I adore both of them). Not sure if it's Steve Martin's sense of humor, Kimberly Williams as Annie Banks, my dream house they're living in, the soundtrack, Franc's accent, the sweet father-daughter relationship, or the overlying wedding theme; but something about it leaves me with tears in my eyes and in the greatest mood ever when the credits start rolling at the final scene.


Thankfully, my wedding obsession is shared amongst my friends. We love talking about them, attending them, and dreaming up our own. With all of the blogs, magazines, and pictures we have compiled over the years, especially the past few college years, we could seriously plan an entire wedding. And for some of our friends, we're doing just that as they prepare to get married in just a few short months! Dresses, flowers, destination, reception, cake, honeymoon...trust me we've discussed it all, in detail. We dissect the event to its very core. Maybe I shouldn't have majored in Education......(just kidding).


There's just something so fun and magical and cheerful and exciting about a wedding! My brother is getting married in June and I am literally counting down the days! I may or may not be as excited as the bride. They got engaged in October and it has been non-stop wedding planning since then. My beautiful future sister-in-law is absolutely wonderful and I can't wait for her to officially be a part of the family. After growing up between two boys, it will be great to finally have another girl in the mix. So blessed to have her in my life and for our relationship! Because she's SO amazing, she has allowed me to participate in all of the pre-wedding fun, including the planning! She shares my obsession...so this is especially fun because she is actually planning a REAL wedding! 


Okay so now to my point of this post. I must share my most recent obsession. It all started yesterday when this little gem was finally unveiled. A little calculation to explain:

Anthropologie + Weddings = PURE BRILLIANCE!!! (why hasn't this been done before?!)

I mean for real...I have died and gone to heaven. Take one of my favorite places to shop and add a wedding line? Yes, PLEASE. If things keep going my way; JCrew, Kate Spade, and Tory Burch will be revealing their bridal brilliance next. I just cried a little at the thought.

After fawning over this newly revealed, but already highly esteemed website, I picked out my favorites. Duh. Just like my friends and I always do. I multi-tasked while obsessing over the site and called my future sister-in-law immediately. We obsessed together. I told her it was absolutely necessary we purchase something from here for her big day. Done and done. She is easily convinced, especially when it comes to wedding ideas. (BTW, I'm hyperlinking the site repeatedly so you won't miss any opportunity to click and see for yourself). These next few pictures don't even do the site justice. Just a little preview (some of my faves). So if you need a little boost of fun and wedding happiness...

www.BHLDN.com

Oh and if you decide to explore every inch of the website (guilty); then you'll find a "What kind of bride are you?" quiz (you don't have to be a bride to take it..ahem). But please before you leave click "Nuptials of Yesteryear" and flip through these old wedding photographs. My how things have changed, but how sweet they are!

Circle circle, dot dot...

Circle Circle! Dot Dot! Now you've got your Cootie shot!
Circle Circle! Square Square! Now you've got it everywhere!
Circle Circle! Knife Knife! Now you've got it ALL your life!

An all too familiar jingle that can commonly be heard on any playground with children of the opposite sex. This little rhyme is known to "immunize" children by administering an imaginary "Cootie shot". There are many different variations of the "immunization" and only if you're lucky will you reach the 3rd and final verse of the song; in which you will forever be cured of Cooties. I did a little research on this infectious disease that seems to be rampant amongst the youngsters. You really ought to Google it. The interpretations and stories are interesting and all together hilarious. No wonder adolescence is such a tough stage of life. If you were unfortunate enough to be on the Cooties bandwagon at such a young age (and most are at one point or another), the complex disease and all of its ramifications are sure to mess you up.

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, an outbreak of Cooties seems to have taken place. The tattling and the conversation have turned into "he kissed her" and "I asked her to be my Valentine" and "I don't like her, she's a girl!" and (my favorite) "I have 2 Valentines, but I think I don't want them anymore". Commitment issues starting at the ripe age of 7...yikes.

Friday is our Valentine's Day party. We're celebrating Friday because any smart teacher would plan a party on a Friday afternoon rather than a Monday (the day of the actual holiday). That way we can load them up on lots of sugar and giddiness and send them home for their parents to deal with for a couple of days. I think I'm more excited to hear the giggling and see the blushing cheeks on their sweet little faces than I am about cookie decorating and heart themed games. They've been decorating their little boxes and preparing their cards this week. Several of them have come and whispered to me "secrets" about their Valentines and what they wrote on their cards. Wasn't it great when Valentine's Day was fun and exciting instead of depressing and annoying? Regardless, I kind of secretly love the holiday. And I love it even more this year simply because I get to celebrate it with 15 Cootie infested 2nd graders. I get to see them send notes to each other and grin ear to ear as their cheeks become rosy as they open a paper heart that reads "Be Mine".

I'll leave you with this story, my one 'Cootie' reference from today. It all started with an unexpected question from a little boy during my small group reading time.

We were reading a book about Veterinarians (tomorrow is Career Day)...
Student 1: "Ms. McKinney...how do veterinarians know that an animal is a boy or girl?"
Me: (completely taken back, unprepared, and unaware how to dodge the bullet) "Well...they take a picture of the animal, kind of like an X-ray and they can figure it out that way..." (terrible answer...I know)
Student 2 (male, obviously): "Well no, not really. Just like human girls have Cooties, so do animals. So if it has Cooties, it's a girl. If it doesn't, it's a boy."
Student 3 (female, obviously): "Well boys are dumb." (Is it bad that I really wanted to high-five this girl and warn her that it doesn't get much better....? ha, joke...kind of.)


Happy Valentine's Day! Make sure you get your Cootie shot this season!
Please enjoy this precious spoof of a Public Service Announcement in regards to this cute contagious disease we call Cooties.

Getting to know all about you...

After getting flooded daily with questions from my sweet little kiddos about my personal life: family, friends, pets, where I live, roommate, Tennessee, etc. I decided to make a "Get To Know Me" poster to put up by my desk with pictures. It included pictures of my friends, family, and pictures of me when I was little. The day I brought it in, you would have thought I'd brought them all cupcakes. They were beyond ecstatic and almost tackled me to see the pictures.

I thought I would just tape it up for them to see at their leisure. Oh no. My teacher asked me to present it in the morning at carpet time. I pointed out my parents, brothers, future sister-in-law, and dog. They wanted names, ages, and details about each person. They now ask on a daily basis about my brother's wedding, my little brother's high school sports, and my dog's oh so thrilling life. After giving a brief explanation of each picture and who was who, I made the mistake (but so glad I did) of opening the floor for questions. In 2nd grade one of the big skills is learning how to ask questions and expanding their knowledge through inquiry. Needless to say, they're mastering the skill. These questions, of course, turned into comments. To some of them I could respond, others I stored away in my memory to smile at later. Please enjoy...questions and comments about Miss McKinney's life:

"Are your brothers twins? Why weren't you a boy too?"

How did Daniel and Krista meet? Why aren't you getting married like your brother?"

"Does your Mom like Krista? If she gets to be a sister doesn't your mom have to like her?"

"Why doesn't David shave? He looks like a man."

"Is David going to play football for Auburn? Will he play Cam Newton's spot?"

"Can you bring Ralph tomorrow and let him spend the day with us?"

After explaining that Ralph is TN with my family, 5 hours away....

"Okay well you can just go get him Saturday and bring him Monday"

"How come both of your brothers' names start with 'D' and yours doesn't...?"

"Are your mom and dad in love?"

"Since you don't live with them anymore, is that because they didn't want you anymore?"

"Ms. McKinney, your skin was so dark in these pictures. Why are you so pale now? Did you get a spray tan?"

After the comment about my skin, my teacher remarked "You have that great olive skin"...I knew as soon as it came out of her mouth they were going to be confused..."Does that mean your body has olives in it?"

"Does Tennessee have a beach?"

(Pointing to a picture of me in Kindergarten) "Do you still wear that sweater? Was that cute when you were little or were you not stylish then?"

(Again--Pointing to picture of me in Kindergarten) "I think you looked like a 'Fred' when you were little...what kind of haircut was that?!"

(Pointing to a picture of me and my friends) "Oh did ya'll go out on the town this night? You look all dressed up I bet ya'll went out!"

"Do you get your eyelashes done? You put that black brushy stuff on them don't you? Do you make the same face my mom does in the mirror?"
Sweet little boy raised his hand after that and shyly said "Well Ms. McKinney actually I think you have the most beautiful and longest eyelashes I ever saw" (umm hello precious angel!)

I saved the best for last...after I had wrapped up the little Q & A session on the carpet, I sent them back to their seats and taped up the poster next to my desk. A few minutes later I saw one of my favorite (yes, I do have a few, oops?) little boys standing in front of the poster pointing to each picture trying to rename all of the people. He then put his finger on my Kindergarten picture, and stared at it for a few long seconds with a tilted head. He was also the same one that made the comment about my bowl of a haircut and how I looked like a 'Fred'. He walked over to me and Mrs. E...

"It took me forever to figure out who Ms. McKinney looked like when she was little, but I think I remember now. You know that little girl that sang that song that goes like 'Monkeys and Crackers in my soup....dragons and lions scoop the loop!' Yeah I think her name is Shirley Temp! Yeah that's it. Ms. McKinney were you Shirley Temp?"

I wouldn't dare correct him. His attempt at the lyrics and his abbreviation of the name were far too great to fix. Holding my laughter back, I just smiled at him and said "You found out my secret, that was me!"

Not sure I see the resemblance...I'd say I'm lacking the ringlets. And I'm sure Shirley "Temp" didn't wear sweaters like mine.

Although I'm sure Miss Temple would be a lot easier to pronounce than Miss McKinney...

Dancing in the Minefield

If any of you know me well, you know this: I have serious song A.D.D.

It is near impossible for me to listen to an entire song. I love music, and I especially love good lyrics. I'm a sucker for [country] songs that are cliché in every sense of the word. I have a file saved on my computer of my favorite lyrics. I fast-forward through songs just to get to my favorite line. I dream of being serenaded by romantic music. In concordance with that, my dream husband can play the guitar, sing, and play the piano (but a sweet attempt at singing will suffice). I adore wedding music. I have a father who is musically talented and has an ear for a beautiful melody. I live in Music City, I can't help but soak it up.

Okay...ALL that being said, and now that you see my obsession with music. I find it only necessary that I share with you some of my current listening selections from time to time on here.

Now I didn't mention this with my other musical quirks, but I also have a 'Repeat' problem. Once I find a song that I like, with a good beat, catchy tune, and good lyrics; I purchase it (yes, I legally download it) on iTunes, and listen to it over and over and over again. No lie. Ask my friends. At one time I became emotionally attached to the song Have A Little Faith In Me by John Hiatt. If they're reading this they're laughing, because they know it's true. I played it nonstop. It all started when it was played during a slideshow of pictures, which was enough to make me cry. If you wanna get me hook, line, and sinker; just throw together some pictures and cue the music. Wah-Bam! Done. You've got me. Pictures...that's a whole different "obsession" blog post, don't even get me started.

ANYWAYS...I had been introduced to a Christian artist by the name of Andrew Peterson a couple of years ago, and somehow ended up with a random song of his on my iPod. That seems to happen sometimes and it, along with some other odd songs, got put away in a box in my iPod titled "random songs I never listen to, but maybe someday will so I'll leave them on here just incase". Fast-forward to September. Driving in the car with one of my friends listening to a mixed CD of random music in her car. I hear this song and literally die at the lyrics. She told me the artist's name was Andrew Peterson. I recognized the name and I immediately go home, buy the CD, watch the video on YouTube, and add it to my imaginary 'Repeat' Playlist, that I don't actually have, but should. This song hasn't left my "Recently Played" Playlist on iTunes in months, and I don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. His lyrics are so sweet and hold so much meaning. And the video is one of those that will warm your heart. I'm waiting for the opportunity to use this song in a slideshow of pictures...duh.

P.S. I highlighted my favorite lines. The ones I fast-forward to over and over again.

Dancing in the Minefield

Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much too young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

Chorus: 
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found 

Chorus: 
And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for

Bridge:

So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me 

'Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true 
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Chorus: 
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for