I've mentioned my little brother's writing talents in a previous post. He's a senior in high school and plans to major in Journalism at Auburn. He writes for his high school newspaper. His articles always make me laugh. His witty spin on current events and happenings never cease to amuse me. This one especially made me laugh. We made him read it aloud to us at the dinner table when I was home this past weekend. We were practically crying from laughing so hard. If only I had a recording of him reading it...but a copy of the article will have to suffice. Enjoy!
Oh and I made sure to get his permission to share his work...his response? (via text message, ironic?)
"As long as you give credit where credit is due, I have no problem with you sharing it."
So here's your recognition Dave. Your blogspot debut.
Let’s be honest, texting is a big part of a normal teenager's life these days. Whether you're texting your family, friends, or even a significant other; texting is, in a way, an opportunity to say whatever you want without seeing that horrid look on the receiver's face if they decide what you said was creepy or weird. Now I know that I am not the biggest expert, and my opinion may not mean much to you at all. But I have compiled a list of texting guidelines that may be beneficial for you to follow. Take this advice...or don’t, but here’s the list:
1. Don’t ever send a double text. Take a hint, clearly, the person isn’t that interested.
2. NEVER SEND A TRIPLE. If you send a double, and still don’t get a response, then send a third text, you are simply out of line
3. If you receive a text that only reads “K” you should stop texting that person. Because they really just said “I don’t want to talk you”
4. If you receive three or more texts in a row that only contain one word, you should stop responding. Because, again, they don’t want to talk to you.
5. If you try to initiate a conversation, and the person doesn’t respond, don’t text them again for at least another 24 hours.
6. When it comes to smiley faces, use them in moderation. Overuse of a smiley face, and you’re headed straight to the creepy zone.
7. LOL is not cool anymore. It’s not. At all.
8. Conversation murderers: 'K'. LOL. Hahah. J. Any of these received without any further wording, is code for “I have lost interest”
9. Excessive lettering is aaaaaaannnnnnnnooooooyyyyyyyiiiiiiiinnnnggggg. See?
10 Texting is not an intervention. Serious conversations are done in person.
11 One conversation a day is enough. If you end a conversation at 6, there really isn’t any reason to try and pick up the pieces at 11.
12 Text things you wouldn’t say in person, because even if the person who receives it starts to think your creepy, you wont see their face. And you can feel free to think they thought you were really cool when you said “I just wanna see you tonight, babe ;)”
13 Us3 c00rEcT gRR@mM@r, because that just looks stupid.
14 U RnT KeWl If u TXT lyke dis
15 Make sure to proof read. Autocorrect can take you from funny nice guy, to weird creepy guy in a span of five seconds.
16 Keep your phone to yourself, your friends aren’t nice.
17 You can always cover/lie for yourself. For instance; you text someone, “Hey QT whatya up to tonight?” Response: “What the heck...?” Your response “Sorry, that was my super immature cousin Kevin.” Now, you may be thinking to yourself, “Wait, I don’t have a cousin named Kevin” Exactly.
18 Lie, and lie a lot. Example “Hey, what are you up to?” Now, you're probably sitting on your couch eating chips, but according to your text you “Just got done with a lift and jog session”
19 Response times must maintain homeostasis. If you send a text, and get a response an hour later, you wait an hour to send another one. If you respond in 10 seconds, you look desperate.
20 Thank you texts-yes, apology texts-no
21 This the final rule, and perhaps the most important...
Take it easy on emotional nonsense, take it real easy. Texting is no place for sappy love poems, and absolutely no place to drop the “L” bomb.
So there they are. The rules of texting. Follow them or don’t, its your creepy reputation on the line.